Claudia’s Chapter

When other kids are crazy September 24, 2006

Something really special happened yesterday.  My kids got attacked by a fellow, rabid 2 year old hell-bent on snatching the toys they were playing with at PotteryBarnKids in the mall.  They defended themselves admirably.  The toddler’s mother was excellent, immediately removing him from the store as he was obviously in a crazed tantrum.  None of it was shocking to me.
I’ve been there a million times when it was my kids being the terror.  But yesterday it wasn’t.  And I had a wonderfully warm feeling inside.  I don’t mean that I was happy for the other mom.  I felt her pain and hoped for her sake that her “angel” would calm down or pass out soon.  But I was so relieved to know that I’m not alone.  That everyone has a day where her kid is out of control.

Testing Chapter97

this is really just a test to see if this will show up in the right place.

9-11-06 September 11, 2006

Today was Thomas’s first day of Preschool for the year, and as every radio station, news program and person looking to make some sort of small talk could tell you, it was also 9-11. I was one of the thousands of people who lived in NYC then. I was also one of the millions who didn’t know anyone who was killed. I remember all the things everyone living there remembers… the strange toxic smells, the people crowding the streets after a few sirens and whispers of another attack a few days later, the endless TV coverage. I remember wanting to help, but knowing that I was really not helpful… not to anyone who actually lost someone that day. I remember feeling anxious on the commuter train for a little while.

Now as talking-heads love to remind us of how strong President Bush appeared as he stood above the rubble at the Trade Center, I always remember how he wasn’t there at all. (his actions that day are always compared in contrast to Katrina–though they seem the same to me) In the chaos following that morning, he was no where to be seen. Not to New Yorkers anyway. For whatver it was worth, former President Clinton made an appearance first a few days later, driving down Lexington Ave and stopping in front of Curry-in a Hurry across from my apartment. The only person I remember thinking deserved the press coverage as a “hero” was Guiliani for actually taking control of the mounting chaos.
But none of it has anything to do with what actually happened on 9-11. All of these things that I remember happened afterwards.

When I close my eyes and really try to remember 9-11-01, I realize that what I remember is that is was a beautiful early September day just like it was today. I had gone up to work in CT early and donned a nice-looking but really uncomfortable pair of shoes. And when i think about hearing about the planes, I remember thinking that my shoes were inappropriate. That if there was an emergency, I would need to take them off to run. At that point there was no list of the dead, no talk of impending war. It was a horrific event on a beautiful day. But until the president showed up, until we really understood that it was no accident, until we knew of all the thousands of people who had been killed, it was just surreal.

Anyway, on these anniversaries it seems like everyone wants to own that moment in time. I’ve met people who lived no where near it, who knew no one who was so senselessly killed, and yet they felt like it had happened to them.

Its sort of sickening in the way that I’ve never heard of someone trying to ‘own’ the senseless death of teenagers killed in a car crash, or of someone having a heart attack. Usually these emotive states are left to those who truly have cause to mourn the dead. The wives, the husbands, the children…

If terrorism is a real threat, let it be dealt with without holding as a point of pride, the deaths of those that day. Let them be memorialized by those who loved them, and by the rest of us by going about our lives just as they did that day. I just have a great resolve to own my days, not that day.
So today on 9-11 as I got dressed to bring Thomas to school I put on my usual mommy outfit of capris and a sweater. And I made a point of wearing my moccasins. They’re really comfortable and easy to run in.

Where do you give a time-out in public? September 8, 2006

We’re big on time-outs at our house.  If someone from the under-5 crowd doesn’t adhere to our short list of rules, which mainly consists of things like “no hitting, no biting” etc, they are usually met with an immediate time-out.  At home, this is simple. The ubiquitious time-out locale:  The 1st step on our flight of stairs.

This gets trickier in public though.  Where do you give a time-out when the child is already trapped in the shopping cart at Stop & Shop.  Today, i got inventive. However, I don’t mean to flatter myself, by using the word inventive.  Heck, Iraq was, if nothing else,  inventive.

We were actually having a really pleasant day, filled with many stories to be read, slides to whizz down and hugs to share.

(Ok: so we also went to the pediatrician’s office because Thomas ran with a weatherstripping stick, and gave himself a puncture wound to the back of the throat, pretending to be an elephant)  Despite the initial onset of screaming and blood, he’s fine. No stiches or medication required. 

I digress though.  Later in the day, which as I mentioned was mainly calm except for the elephant puncture wound incident, I had Thomas and Christopher in the racing car shopping cart at Stop & Shop.  Each had his own steering wheel.  All was well.  Suddenly, out of nowhere, I noticed Thomas hitting Christopher.  (Granted, i’m sure Christopher in some way provoked him, as i was looking for a bargain on diapers, but i pulled him out of the racing car and said “Sit down. You’re in time-out”  )

He sat on the floor of the diaper aisle, and said “But Mommy, the floor of Stop & Shop is cold and dirty”

and I said, “I know…”

Of course in less than the usual 3 minutes, I had him back in the cart, and he and Christopher were laughing as if nothing had happened.  I even overheard Thomas say “OK, Christopher I’m back, are you comfortable now?”

The day was fine, all was well, but was a time-out on the floor really the best remedy?  What did people do before time-outs?

Eat while you wait for something to change. September 3, 2006

Ok: I had a very typical lunchtime today in which Thomas (the 3 year old) and Christopher (the 1 year old) took sport eating to a new meaning as they hurled their Annie’s mac and cheese across the kitchen table. This happens often. Usually I try to just stay calm and remove whatever food was being thrown from the table.

Today, I tried an old school tactic:

I brought up the starving children in the world. I did. I dragged the old “kids are starving right now in places like Africa…they would love to have that Mac&Cheese you are throwing around like a ball…So if you’re not going to eat it, at least respect it enough to leave it on your plate” line out to manage the chaos of our kitchen.
What I learned: If ,as a mom, you bust out with the “Kids are starving in Africa line” be prepared for a full discussion of what that means.

How I learned this:

Well, Thomas quickly became very concerned about it. He asked what it meant to be starving, so in the interest of honesty I told him. Then he wanted to know what a starving person looked like. So, again, in the interest of honesty, I went on the internet and showed him a picture . Neither of us were prepared for it. When he saw the picture, I realized that he understood that that was a kid, just like him, who needed to eat his Mac&Cheese. Thomas turned to me and said, “But you and Daddy will get him some food.” And that’s when it hit me. To Thomas, Alex and I are actually able to solve problems, even huge, overwhelming problems, like starvation in Africa.
To Thomas it was simple: Mommy’s go to the grocery store. So Mommy will go there, get some food and feed that kid so his tummy won’t hurt. So I have a new resolve: to try to figure out simple solutions to problems like that. I have no idea how to help that kid, but I’d like to try. So someday when Thomas has kids I hope he won’t be able to bust out the “kids are starving line” because they won’t be.